Cynthia
by Loveispatientloveiskind
Summary: Ethel is pregnant. Meanwhile Lucy and Ricky cope with a tragedy that happened three years ago
1. Lucy's Secret

Disclaimer: I don't own I Love Lucy.

* * *

It was a gloomy Saturday and the weather matched Lucy's mood. Ethel came over and tried to cheer her up.

"Lucy? Are you okay," Ethel asked.

"Yeah," Lucy said, "Today's just a sad day each year. Before we met you guys Ricky and I had a little girl named Cynthia. She died of SIDS 3 years ago today."  
Little Ricky cried and Lucy went to get him. Ethel followed her.

"Lucy," she asked, "Why didn't you ever tell me that?"

"Well it's not exactly something I like to think about," Lucy said feeding Little Ricky, "It's like a nightmare."  
Ethel nodded.

"I'm so sorry," she said.  
Suddenly Ethel felt a wave of nausea and ran to the bathroom. She threw up a few times and then came out.

"You okay," Lucy asked.

"I'm fine," Ethel said, "I'm pregnant."  
That got Lucy out of her mood.

"Pregnant? How far along are you?"

"Three months," Ethel said, "We just found out."

Lucy hugged Ethel after putting Little Ricky down in his crib.

"Congratulations," she said, "What are you hoping for?"

"Honestly," Ethel said, "I'll love whatever I have but I'm hoping for a girl. Fred wants a girl too."

"They're wonderful," Lucy said, "But so are boys."

"Lucy have you ever talked to a therapist?"  
Lucy nodded.

"Once a week for 2 and a half years," she said, "It really helps."  
Ricky came in.

"Honey," he said, "I'll be home a little late tonight. I have a business meeting with the owner of the club."

"Really," Ethel demanded putting her hands on her hips, "Today of all days you have a meeting with the owner of the club?"

"Did I say something wrong," Ricky asked.

"Three years ago," Ethel pointed out, "Didn't you think Lucy might need you."

"Oh that," Ricky said, "We usually don't focus on it. It's too painful. How did you even know about it?"


	2. I'll Be if You Will Be

"Lucy told me about her," Ethel said, "Is that why you get mad?"  
Ricky paused.

"Honestly," he said, "I get mad because sometimes I feel like it's the only thing I CAN do to keep things in control. But yes that's a large part of it."

"Guess what," Lucy said to Ricky, "Ethel is pregnant."

"Congratulations," Ricky said, "You'll never regret having children. They are the best part of your life."

"Have you thought of any names," Lucy asked Ethel.

"Well if it's a boy we're thinking of Daniel and for a girl... we thought we had a name but we can't do that."

"Why?"

"Fred and I both loved the name Cynthia," Ethel said, "But I wouldn't do that to you."  
Lucy and Ricky looked at each other.

"Ethel," Ricky said, "We would be honored if you named your baby after ours."

"We really would," Lucy said.  
Ethel smiled.

"Okay," she said

"The important thing to remember is to be positive," Ricky said.

"I will if you will," Ethel replied.

"You have a deal," Ricky said laughing.  
Ricky left for work.  
Fred came downstairs.

"Ethel," he said, "I'm going to the supermarkert. Do you want anything?"

"Pretzels," Ethel said.

Fred nodded.

"Anything else?"  
Ethel wrote him out a list. He kissed her and left.

"Ever since I got pregnant he's been treating me like gold," Ethel said.

"You mean since you found out?"

"Yes," Ethel laughed.  
Lucy smiled. She remembered that in her own pregnacies.

"When I was pregnant the first time," Lucy said, "Ricky used to sleep with all his clothes on in case I went into labor."  
Ethel laughed.

"Did he do that when you were pregnant with Little Ricky?"

"No. He thought that doing things differently would prevent another tragedy," Lucy said.


	3. Guilt and Apple Pie

Three months passed. Ethel was now six months pregnant. She was showing but not too heavily. One Saturday morning Lucy and Ricky were sitting around talking.

"Lucy?"

"Yes Ricky?"

"Do you ever want more kids?"  
Lucy paused. She loved Little Ricky with all her heart but she had a fear every night that she would wake up to find him gone. She never had that fear with Cynthia until the day that Cynthia died in her sleep.

"Little Ricky is only 8 months old," she settled on as an answer.

"I know but when he's older would you want more children?"

"I guess so," Lucy said, "But I worry so much..."

"So do I," Ricky admitted, "and I second guess myself all the time."

"Why?"

"I don't know," Ricky said, "It's like when I get mad. It seems like the right thing to do at the time but then it's such a heavy burderen on your shoulders..."

"I know what you mean," Lucy said, "So why don't you just stop getting mad."

"Cause at the time I don't know what else to do," Ricky replied.  
Little Ricky started to cry.

"He's up," Lucy said.  
She went to get Little Ricky. Ethel came over.

"I see you made an apple pie," Ethel said.  
Ricky smiled.

"Yes," he said, "Would you like some?"

"Thanks."  
Ethel ate 3 peices of pie.

"Lucy loved apple pie when she was pregnant," Ricky said, "When she was pregnant with Cynthia she used to have an apple pie a day."

"How old was Cynthia when she died," Ethel asked.

"18 months old."

"I thought SIDS only affected infants?"

"In rare cass it affects 0lder children too," Ricky said, "I actually blamed myself for awhile."

"Why would you blame yourself."

"Well because I-"  
Lucy came into the room holding Little Ricky.

"Look who's up," she said.  
Little Ricky reached out for Ricky who laughed and took him. He laid his head on Ricky's shoulder. Ricky rubbed his back.

"Oh Lucy," Ethel said, "I hope you don't mind. I had a few slices of your apple pie."

"That's fine," Lucy replied.


	4. A Happy Ending

Three more months passed. Ethel was now nine months pregnant. She was so big she could hardly move.

"The baby is due any day now huh," Lucy asked.

"Yes," Ethel said, "I can't wait until he or she is out of me."  
Lucy laughed.

"Looking foward to meeting him or her?"

"More then I can say," Ethel said.

"I hope it's a girl," Fred told them.

"So do I," Ethel said, "Daniel Mark Mertz or Cynthia Lucy Mertz is going to be very loved."

"You're giving the baby my name as a middle name if it's a girl?"

"I am," Ethel said, "As long as it's alright with you?"  
Lucy hugged Ethel.

"I'm so honored," she said.

That night Lucy and Ricky got a call. Ethel had gone into labor. By the time Ricky and Lucy got to the hospital baby Cynthia had been born. She was the most beautiful baby that Fred had ever seen. Lucy thought the only baby more pretty then Cynthia Mertz was her own Cynthia. An exhausted but happy Ethel was grinning ear to ear holding her new baby.

"Can I hold her," Lucy asked, "It's been 3 years since I held a Cynthia."  
Ethel laughed and handed the baby to Lucy.

"Would you and Ricky be her GODPARENTS," Fred asked.

"Really? We would be honored," Ricky said.

"Absolutely," Lucy added.  
Cynthia fell asleep in Lucy's arms. Lucy handed her back to Ethel. After a minute Fred took her.

Fred cried with happiness. His daughter was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen. He didn't know he was capable of that much love.

"Are you okay Fred," Ethel asked.

"I'm more then okay," Fred said, "I'm wonderful. I never thought I would be a father. I love her so much."

"So do I," Ethel said, "and I love you."

"I love you too," Fred said kissing Ethel.

"This is so beautiful," Ricky said smiling. He put an arm around Lucy.

"May I hold her," Ricky asked Fred.  
Fred handed Cynthia to Ricky.

"Support her head," Fred told him.  
Ricky rolled his eyes.

"I have held babies before," he said.

"You never held MY baby before," Fred replied.  
Everyone laughed.


End file.
